Datadyne Markship Academy

As I fell into temptation and bought Rare replay on launch day, I’ve got the chance to try out some of the Rare classics I have missed. That wasn’t hard: aside from Conker, Blast Corps and DKC2, I haven’t played any other Rare game. Oh yeah, Killer Instinct for the SNES too. That’s better left forgotten.

That's a sound plan if I've ever seen any. Like killing all your classmates so you can be the best student in class.
That’s a sound plan if I’ve ever seen any. Like killing all your classmates to become the best student in class.

One game that has caught my eye is Perfect Dark. I don’t really know if the controls are the same as the N64 version, since this one was remade for XBLA and that’s the version included. Still, the copious amounts of auto-aim make me believe it wasn’t too different even in 2000. Aside from the framerate (I heard this runs even worse than Turok 2 at times? That is very hard to believe, but certainly anything was possible on the Nintendo 64).

This is actually the PC version. Why hurt myself with the N64 cartridge when I have a perfectly good Voodoo 3 here? And I'm still hurting myself because the game sucks, anyway.
This is actually the PC version. Why hurt myself with the N64 cartridge when I have a perfectly good Voodoo 3 here? And I’m still hurting myself because the game sucks, anyway.

So it’s perhaps somewhat ironic that a game that lets you pretty much shoot any enemy without bothering you with needless things like actually looking, gives its enemies the worst aim I’ve ever seen in any game or movie. Really, I don’t know where Datadyne picks up their agents, but on Special Agent difficulty you can literally stand in front of someone for a good 2-3 seconds before any of their shots will start hitting you. It’s like Darth Vader trying to get a lock on Luke’s X-Wing during the trench run. The Force is strong with Joanna, it seems.

So maybe the average rebel pilot doesn't feel the Force, but their radar makes up for that by predicting when your shot is going to hit the enemy.
So maybe the average rebel pilot doesn’t feel the Force, but their radar makes up for that by predicting when your shot is going to hit the enemy. Convenient.

Really, Stormtroopers could give those guys firing lessons. Well, this was probably necessary when all you had was a Nintendo 64 controller. But the handicap is perhaps too much. Having a machinegun means nobody can kill you, unless you are holding some other tool at the moment. Which can happen, because Datadyne’s biggest weapon is, in fact, the off-camera enemy spawning while you are doing something else.

"You must use this to move and shoot around at the same time." "Uh, that's impossible..." "Fine, we'll do the shooting for you then. Pansy."
“You must use this to move and shoot around at the same time.”
“Uh, that’s impossible…”
“Fine, we’ll do the shooting for you then. Pansy.”

Who knows if this kind of overpowered and yet unfair connubium will stay interesting for long. Chances are, it won’t, and I’ll pass to the next game in the collection.

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